UNDERWORLD (2003) – R

For the better part of a century, a war has been raging between vampires and lycans. Selene is a death dealer, a vampire assigned to hunt down and eradicate the last of the lycans. When she comes across Michael Corvin, a human who holds the key to ending the war, she must decide where her allegiances will lie.

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Bill Nighy, Michael Sheen

SPOILERS BELOW

Let’s talk about Kate Beckinsale.  Did you hear she was named 2009’s sexiest woman alive by Esquire magazine?  I did.  All I have to say isNOW!? How long ago did Underworld come out?  So very very much leather….  and can someone explain to me how they got her into that costume??  The body paint that Rebecca Romijn wore as Mystique didn’t fit THAT good….

ok, enough drooling….

Underworld is one fun vampire movie!  It’s dark, it’s sexy, it has lots of blood…not much it’s missing.

The images in Underworld really sell the movie.  All the Gothic buildings and dripping water and of course the image that really sticks…Selene on a balcony in a long leather trench coat…the bottom of it blowing in the wind and the rain just streaming down.  You’d think that the humans would notice all the black leather…I mean really, who wears black leather trench coats?  I could forgive just one person…but the shoot-out in the train station has more than one….and the vamps seem to travel in packs…Sorry, suspending my disbelief again….

One of the best things about Underworld would have to be the special effects.  Someone put a LOT of thought into these!  The introduction of the bullets that harness sunlight and the ones that have liquid silver in them is AWESOME.  I’d love to see that technology carried over into other movies.  The use of blue really helps the mood of the movie too.  Both the Lycan and vampires’ eyes turn blue when they’re in bloodlust…a nice throwback to their shared ancestry.  And the use of blue lighting is a really nice departure from the standard washed out black and over-saturated reds you typically see in a vampire movie.  I was disappointed in what the lycans look like when they change but the hybrid that Michael becomes is pretty amazing.  I love the liquid look to his skin…it’s a really great combo of the three “breeds” he is now.

The production designer gets two thumbs way up….Bruton Jones is pretty awesome.  He did an amazing job tying everything up and really thinking about the images movie goers would see.  We see a dirty, dingy lab, damaged walls and then a fancy new sports car pulls up next to it.  The sets in the vampire world are all overly designed; they have a lot going on which is very true to the stereotype.  I love the way the costumes tie together the characters’ personalities…Kraven wears really flash clothes and Selene wears older style clothes, tying together their personalities.

The fights are AWESOME.  I’m big on fight sequences so this movie hit me in my soft spot.  The guy at the end with the dual whips….holy crap.  Remember that scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where Indiana uses the whip for the first time and cracks himself in the face?  Yea…that happens.  So this guy put in a LOT of time on that fight.  And that opening scene is a lot of fun, even if it is reminiscent of The Matrix.

In terms of story, the movie isn’t that great.  It’s got a weak, overdone story and the actors barely carry the story.  The story has werewolves in sewers…is there any werewolf movie where they DON’T live in sewers?  The vampires live in a mansion and the mansion is all reds and blacks with old dusty books and lots of shiny technology.  Seen that anywhere before?  And for the actors…The only real connection between Selene and Michael happen 2/3 of the way thru the movie when they’re sharing their sob stories.  Bill Nighy gives an amazing performance, but when has he not?  That man’s voice shivers me timbers….  But can we talk Michael Sheen?  How diverse and amazing is this man?  This is the first role I’ve ever seen him in and then he goes on to do Frost/Nixon, which blew me away.  The man is amazing.  And he has such a quiet grace to the character of Lucien…which is an amazing contrast because the vampires are supposed to be the sophisticated ones…and Kraven certainly is NOT.

Sadly, there are a LOT of holes….When Kraven and Selene are fighting over Michael, Kraven lets the whole game slip…“Why would Lucien care about this human?”  Uh…hello.  Lucien is supposedly dead, killed by Kraven.  And vampires have super human strength and speed right?  So why is it that Selene can’t get to the elevator before Michael is able to escape?  Eric would never have let Sookie get away that easily…  And immediately after that, Selene is able to shoot a hole in the floor and fall down thru but not able to stop elevator doors?  And how about this one: since when do vampires sweat?  Or cry salt-water tears?  When a person dies, all of their bodily fluid leaves their body.  And since the vampires don’t drink water, doesn’t it stand to reason that they shouldn’t be crying water or sweating?  And what is with the death of Viktor?  Anti-climactic anyone?  Selene is able to just slice his head in half?  I mean, seriously?  Just some observations….

I’m a sucker for vampire movies, so this one gets me…And I’d watch Kate Beckinsale and Michael Sheen pour tea….so watch this one for the fun of watching a bloodbath with great special effects not for the character development.  It’s a lot of fun and if you watch it with some buddies, you can get a great laugh out of the story but some cheers for Kate Beckinsale’s ass.